Read at your won peril

So finally I memorised all the elements in the periodic table. It is immensely satisfying to knwo the names of elements like Unnilquadium (named after neither a Keralite nor a Swede), darmstadtium, tantalum and hydrargyrum. The last three rows are basically a big rah-rah to the biggies of chemistry and their laboratory addresses. So you have Fermium, nobelium, einsteinium, rutherfordium, mendelevium, californium, berkelium,dubnium, seaborgium and meitnerium. And now that I have permanently reduced my blog readership to -1 I can say with pride that I love chemistry because:

1. I can pronounce such choice mouthfuls as those given above even though I've never seen or handled them before in my life

2. I can work with chemicals most of which our professors mournfully used to say are carcinogenic without any sort of protective gear (real chemists have corrosion resistant skin)

3. I do not need to go the doctor for my cold because I kill any hapless bacteria or virus by inhaling noxious vapours

4. I have a cool lab name MOC. I won't tell you what it means because then the readership of this blog will plummet to -100.

5. The lab coat I wear is the hottest trend since leggings and ballet flats. When I wear it in the corridor everyone points and stares (ALL EYES ON ME) and forgets even to point and stare at the girl in the glittery purple patiala.

6. When I don't know what is going on in my test tube I can admire the colours in it.

7. We don't need colour swatches to discuss clothes. For eg. "Waaaaow I want a tshirt coloured like her diluted titanium solution"

8. Nowhere else will you hear people saying," I finished my anal yaar" (analytical chem)
I love it for reasons even more boring and sometimes hate it for those very same reasons.